Dear Counselor,
My name is Randir. According to people’s opinion of me, I’m a good Muslim, I pray, I’m good to my family and try to help others as much as I can. But I lie a lot, I lie even about trivial things that do not matter much to me and I just can’t stop.
I guess I’m doing that unconsciously. But it burdens me and makes me feel bad all the time. I mean even psychologically I always feel that something wrong is going on and I know this feeling has to do with the fact that I lie a lot. It reminds me of those sick people who, although rich, steal without having a reason for that.
I hope I’m not sick and that you can guide me on a way to stop that bad habit, if I may call it so. For accepting this as some sort growing soul sickness just freaks the hell out of me and makes me feel that there’s no way out.
Please help.
Randir
Posted on: May 30, 2011
Answer offered by Dr. Farooq Hassan
Ph.D. in Islamic Studies (Usul-ul-Fiqh),University of Karachi
Assistant Professor of Islamic Studies and Ethical Behavior in Humanities Department- N.E.D. University of Engineering & Technology, Karachi.
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Salam dear,
Lying is a disease which is acquired but not inherited. There is nothing greater in this world than truth. There is nothing worse in the world than lies. So lying is one bad habit. It leads to other lies and very soon your life is filled with lies all around. Allah’s software system tolerates any evil till a certain time and then that evil with the person (you) will be thrown out of the system and punished very badly and you will be made to care for all the lies in your life. In this regard Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he gives an agreement, he does not fulfill his commitment and when he is entrusted, he betrays the trust.”( Reported by Abu Hurayrah—“Agreed.”)
– Reasons for lying:
Know the reason of lying before its cure, then work on it. Lying is a soul disease because of a number of internal and external reasons such as:
1. Weakness in personality.
2. The interest to attract people’s attention.
3. The wish to make jokes and to entertain others.
4. The presence of a bad environment and having friends around who might influence you wrongly.
5. Being keen to acquire and obtain things that are not of your own because of jealousy from others.
– Remedy:
1. Well, it’s not easy. Promise yourself that you will not lie one hour. Then tell yourself, that you will not lie one more hour. To stick to one hour duration is easy. Increase the duration until it turns into days, weeks, months and so on.
2. Thank Allah for the will to stick to your promise. Don’t let this habit become part of your nature. If it does, it will be very difficult to tackle with it. Convince yourself of the wisdom of telling the truth. When you take care to speak the truth, a truth-loving personality is developed within you. The colour of truth will dominate your temperament and thinking. Then you will be free of all the evils and psychological complexes.
3. Read Quranic verses related to this. The word lying is mentioned in the Quran more than 280 times in forty four different forms.
4. Read Hadith related to overcome this bad habit such as The Prophet (PBUH) was asked about the possibility of a Muslim lying. He negated completely: The Prophet (PBUH ) was asked “ Would a believer be a coward? He said: Yes! He was asked: Would a believer be a miser? He said: Yes! He was asked: Would a believer be a liar? He said: No….”
( Narrated by Imam Malik).
In short a Muslim is not supposed to lie because these there is no mental, physical or biological needs for it at all.
Let us ask Allah Guidance and Mercy.
Ameen.
Dr. Farooq Hassan
Posted on: August 1, 2011