Dear Counselor,
Should I drop him a sign every now and then? Can I directly propose to him? I have the guts to do that and I don’t mind. But is it right to do so? Do you think he’d appreciate my honesty and my feelings for him or would that harm my image and somehow demean me in his eyes?
According to my humble readings and knowledge of Islam, Lady Khadija proposed to Prophet Muhammad, I don’t know how true or false is such account. There’s a guy whom I think would make a very good husband and I am developing some genuine feelings for him.
Salam.
From: Susan.
Answer offered by Dr. Farooq Hassan
Ph.D. in Islamic Studies (Usul-ul-Fiqh),University of Karachi
Assistant Professor of Islamic Studies and Ethical Behavior in Humanities Department
– N.E.D. University of Engineering & Technology, Karachi.
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Of Course, you can. If what you are doing is right in the eyes of Allah and the prophet, don’t hesitate to follow it. But, may be the other person you propose is not that pious. So, try to notice his reactions very attentively and don’t fool yourself into believing what you want to hear but convince yourselve that you will be bold enough to face the truth. There are cases where a man may admire you for your boldness, but he may also be part of the society which thinks that a proposal by a woman is indecent. Therefore, pray to Allah to guide you to be able to understand the response in a sensible way and also guide you to accept the factual situation.
Remember, Hazrat Khadija (R.A) one of the most respectable woman of her time, sent a proposal to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and he (PBUH) accepted it with respect. The Arab society of that time allowed women to propose to men. But, today’s society in different parts of the world is more culture-oriented than religion- oriented. Therefore, be cautious.
In brief, yes it is absolutely right to propose to a man.
May Allah Guide you to what’s best.
Ameen.
